Sister pressures her brother to sell his wife's $60K engagement ring after they've borrowed $150K from the rest of the family to cover their bills: 'They have 3 kids under 3 and are stuck in an $8,500-a-month lease.'

Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor

Aug 17, 2026 12:30 PM EDT

Was it wrong for her to demand that she sell something so sentimental?

Being financially stable often comes down to avoiding the dumbest possible decisions with your money. It can be difficult to know what counts as a dumb financial decision because such decisions are so normalized. The population at large is addicted to buying cars they can't afford, renting apartments that cost them more than half their paycheck, and putting everything on a credit card they aren't planning to pay off anytime soon. Are you bad with your money if you do all three of those things? I would say so. Is committing one of those sins enough to ruin you financially? It all depends on the person and how much debt they're comfortable with accruing.

The family in this story has gotten themselves into a huge financial pickle. They have three kids under three years old, and their business is struggling so badly that the rest of their family has been giving them money to keep it afloat. A financially responsible person might advise them to cut their losses, sell the business while they can still get something for it, and get normal jobs so they can keep an income coming into their household, but that might not be the best advice for them in their situation. They might have a plan to make the business profitable within the next year, and if they can swing that, then selling it might not be the solution. But if there's no plan and no signs the business will become profitable, it's probably best to cut your losses and take jobs that can sustain your lifestyle, even if it means cutting back on said lifestyle.

How far should you have to cut back? Should you sell everything you own if you're in debt? That's the question the family in this story has to answer.

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Cheezburger Image 10656781056 — *A large engagement ring that could be sold to pay off debts.*
*_{Stock photography for depiction only.}*

Am I the bad guy for pushing my sister-in-law to sell her $60k engagement ring?

My brother's business is going through severe financial issues, and as a result he and my sister-in-law are in a very bad financial situation. Between my parents, siblings, and other relatives, our family has given them over $150,000 combined to help keep them afloat.

They have three kids under 3 and are stuck in an $8,500/month lease until early next year, so their expenses are still extremely high even though their financial circumstances have changed dramatically.

*A couple signing a lease for an $8,500-per-month apartment that they will not be able to afford once their business starts to do badly.*
*_{Licensed media provided as editorial context.}*

At this point, I don't think the family is likely to give them much, if any, additional money. Ideally, we would also eventually get at least some of the money we've already given them back.

My sister-in-law has an engagement ring that originally cost around $60,000, and I've been pushing for them to sell it. I'm getting a fair amount of blowback for that.

I understand that she wouldn't get anywhere close to the original purchase price and that an engagement ring is highly sentimental. But it's hard for me to reconcile the family having contributed more than $150k while they continue to hold onto a luxury asset worth tens of thousands of dollars.

At a certain point, it starts to feel like we're subsidizing luxury rather than simply helping a family through a crisis. If they can sell the ring for a meaningful amount, that money could go toward supporting their kids, paying necessary expenses, or potentially repaying some of

*Parents are spending time with their young children that they can barely afford.*
*_{Featured likenesses do not identify those mentioned.}*

the family members who stepped in to help them. Other people think I'm being too harsh because it's her engagement ring and has emotional significance. Am I being unreasonable for pushing them to sell it?

Edit: I was one of the people who lent them money in case it's unclear Edit 2: They tried to negotiate out of the lease, but landlord says no unless he can find another tenant. They live in a very landlord friendly state so they'd still be on the hook for the remaining rent.

SeaworthinessDue8650 I think you are wasting your breath. Next time they come asking for money, tell them you don't have anymore to give. As long as you are enabling them, she has no reason to sell. NTA

jopjpo This, your family needs boundaries. And I wouldn't expect money to be returned. If you're going to lend out money, it should be seen as a gift.

IceSeeker True, unfortunately. I learned that if you're lending someone some money, there's a possibility that it might not get returned. Ideally they should pay you back and it's great if they do. But realistically speaking, better to give the money (not all) that you're ok of losing for your peace of mind. Personally I would just stop lending and tell them you're financially struggling too.

beepbeepboop74656 It's not for you to decide what they sell but you can decide to stop giving nta

Ijr55555 Exactly - I cannot make you sell your stuff, but I can stop making it comfortable for you to not sell your stuff.

perky alligator NTA. If you're taking $150k from family, the $60k ring shouldn't be untouchable.

Sleep_adict To add, sell the main diamond and replace it with glass until times are better. I'm confused how people can have such large expenses and don't have a few years of coverage available.

Pockes It blows my mind. My parents always preached financial responsibility. My dad was putting good financial books in our hands at a young age. Now in our late 30s, my 2 brothers are drowning in debt and continue to spend more then they make. What is the most frustrating is they don't seem overly stressed about it. They shrug it off and say "money comes and goes".

monkey1528 I'm wondering if the "$60,000 ring" is a con, did anyone see a $60,000 payment clear? It may be actually worth next to nothing.

Safford1958 She will get a fraction of that $60,000. It will be worth the gold that is in it. With the emergence of lab diamonds, natural ones have taken a loss. shops are not able to sell diamonds for what they used to, jewelers only offer what the gold is worth. If she can sell it in marketplace, she might get a fair price, but I wouldn't bank on it. My brother purchased a 6 ct diamond from someone whose construction company was struggling. He bought the ring for $30,000. It was purchased for

Mysterious-Fix9135 YTA. Boundaries start and stop with you. If you don't want to subsidize your financially irresponsible sibling(s), that's more than fair. Don't. But you don't get to make demands about anyone else's assets.

DifficultOffice6268 OP I have never made demands. Just told them I didn't think it was fair to take so much from family while holding onto 30k+ asset. My family is not made of money.

Mysterious-Fix9135 Pushing your SIL to sell her engagement ring is a demand, even if you want to do mental gymnastics to tell yourself otherwise. As hard and unfair as it may feel, you don't get to dictate what other people choose to do with their assets. If your parents choose to sell everything to save your brother's business, that's their choice to make. If your sister chooses to keep her ring while in financial trouble, that's her choice to make. You've expressed your opinion, which is fair,

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Sister pressures her brother to sell his wife's $60K engagement ring after they've borrowed $150K from the rest of the family to cover their bills: 'They have 3 kids under 3 and are stuck in an $8,500-a-month lease.'

Was it wrong for her to demand that she sell something so sentimental?

Am I the bad guy for pushing my sister-in-law to sell her $60k engagement ring?

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